Thank you Jay
Laura whatever you're going through, God is with you, with us! Sending prayers on you. Stay strong and stay positive! :)
Accepted. Message sent. :)
Ok I will go look. :)
@Jade, I did send you a FB request.
@Orionaute I ill be raying that you pull through your cancer and that every cell leaves your body, please stay strong through this. :) <3
This is a gorgeous room for one, I seen it and loved it immediately( and I'm being honest here.) And not to intervene, but I am so sorry for what you are going through. These people you speak of should not define you as a person, your sister, your mother, any of them. Of course family is great but you shouldn't not want to live or hate your life because of something they said or did. What those girls called you in school should not matter, none of it should matter to you. I know it does, and its hard not to think it dont, but Laura, you are worth so much more than any of them and anything they have ever said or done to you. Listen to the song You're Beautiful by MercyMe, its an amazing song, its Christian and its so inspirational. It reminds you that what the world thinks of you doesn't matter for God loves you. He may be quiet right now but that means hes working on something amazing for you. Stay strong, you worth more than you think. :) <3
Laura. I am sorry to intervene in what seems to be a personal conversation, but if you would like to talk sometime, will listen. My Facebook page is under the name Karen Hudson in Florida. I will private message you there, or you can email me at Jade61356@aol.com. It may take awhile for me to get to my email, but if I am talking to someone, I promise to check it more often.
I do love this room, btw. It's beautiful. :)
As you can see I have not been successful at relations. My mom has ridiculed me every step of my life. Always quick to point out every failure I have ever made. My sister won't even speak to me (for reasons I do not know....other than like the rest of the world she just finds it easier to hate me). I know God did not create any of us to be entirely alone yet no matter where I am, what I do I am always alone and it hurts deeply. The bottom line is no matter what I choose to do, I can not change others opinions and I am still alone
Fast forward, after I left school, I met my first husband and married him for all the wrong reasons. I was still you and naive and I was afraid of being alone and thought that might be the only chance I would ever have. Needless to say that did not work, I met my second husband and he was a control freak, even after we divorced I spent over 10 years in constant custody battles with him, while he manipulated the court, me and my kids. Then there was my third husband...it might have been one of my better marriages but in the end it still did not work....he was a 24/7 alcoholic. We were constantly having our utilities shut off because he was spending all the money on alcohol.
Orionaute, I hear what you are saying, but I just don't see how therapy can help. You simply can not change other's impression. I have moments where I am happy, but it changes nothing, at the end of every day I am still alone. When I was in elementary school I had a sever case of chicken pox that scarred my face, my mom made me dress up in clothes she made, I wore glasses. I was called crater face, four eyes. I went through school with no friends whatsoever. There were 2 girls that at the time I thought were friends, but later came to realize that the only reason they were nice was because I was a straight A student in math and they were using me.
As you can see, to offer some hope, I'm ready to reveal myself, even here in public. I think + big is suffering, + it's a long time to get out of it but it's possible ... with help.
I KNOW that the difficult + is to accept help from someone professional but far from being a failure, it's an opening to a better life. We can only change ourselves ...
Comme tu peux le voir, pour offrir un peu d'espoir, je suis prète à me dévoiler, même ici en public. Je crois que + grande est la souffrance, + c'est long de s'en sortir mais c'est possible ... avec de l'aide.
Je SAIS que le + difficile est d'accepter de se faire aider par quelqu'un de professionnel mais loin d'être un constat d'échec, c'est une ouverture vers une vie meilleure. On ne peux changer que nous-même...
But I did not arrive alone - I had to accept help, support from professionals and, unfortunately, medication. If it's the price to pay to be happy, I accept.
Now, it is the psychic that fades - cancer / chemo, diabetes, etc. Not serious. Even in my worst chemo moments, I suffered less than the "soul hurt" as I called it. Yet I almost died, alone in my corner ...
OK Laura, I understand. So I will go to more private life, hoping it can help you a bit. Google translate:
I was abandoned at birth, my parents separated permanently at this time (early 1960). During my first year of life, I was lugged in about fifteen food centers, then I was kept for 3 years. The "mother" being pregnant, she did not want me anymore - her husband went to see his father who took me from 4 to 17 years.
Who has not heard horror from these host families? There was some for me too. I learned to shut up, not to cry and love without return. In adolescence, the only thing that prevented me from committing suicide is my faith. That I offered suffering!
The void of abandonment and rejection, as you say, yes, I know !! With these sad bases, it is not easy to find a place in the sun. To make friends? Sometimes. I did not know how to relate to others in a healthy way. The child in me wanted a mother, someone who loves me unconditionally ...
Oriounaute, I appreciate what you are saying. But you are talking in terms of this site. My problems go far beyond this site. I could die tomorrow and believe me when I say that no one would even care, much less even know. That is how alone I am. My mom can not have a serious conversation with me, without in some way shape or form constantly ridiculing me in some way. Yet, I am the one who takes her every place she needs to go and she has absolutely no respect for me. I am the first one at church to walk up and ask someone how they are doing, or simply say hi but I can walk into church and no one even bothers to say hi.
Hello - me again! Last time without news from you. I have a look to members you follow - near 900!! - but a lot of them never come here from 1 to 9 years...
It's your choice but why not tell them you appreciate their style and "If you come back, I want to know" or something like that?
It is helpfull for me to follow only active people, entertaining relationship, joking etc. In the same way, when I feel bad, I only follow those who likes my rooms - it is not an adult schema but who cares if I feel better in that way?
I hope it can help you to feel better practicing your power when you can - good for health I think... Take care