Designed over 1y ago by

3 years now

For you Jade


I understand very well what you can go through as a test - August, it's like yesterday ... I have a secret that I am going to share with you: what struck me in the suicide of my sister is that in the family, it was me who had to leave first! Ginette was the one who had passed a social worker course, partly because of me, no doubt.

To quell the untenable suffering of our lives, she fought successfully but I often gave up - I should not have been there for a very long time. Ginette fought for me, looking for help and support. I was 40 years old when I (re)conciled with life. For Ginette, I believe that the successive bereavements that we experienced was right of his fighting spirit ... and I was not there!


The first trap to avoid is to feel guilty for not having seen the suffering of the other, a sign, a call for help that one would have missed. However, I say that when we get to the act, it is that we have lost contact with everyone, including loved ones that we leave behind. I know you understand to have wanted to join him ...


It's normal when our universe switches in this way. The mourning process of a loved one who committed suicide is not the same as the others and it is VERY IMPORTANT to ask for help from an organization designed for survivors. I do not know what exists in your country in this sense but I beg you to ask for this particular help if you do not already have it.


At this moment, your confidence in "daring to say" here makes me think that Ginette did not die in vain, that her act and my reaction to entrust me to this community of which I am a part and that I like knew how to touch you . Thank you from the heart!


I know that this process of mourning that you have just begun will be long and terrible, you will go from misunderstanding to revolt, you will even hate him for having abandoned you at the same time as your desire to see him again. will make you give up trying to beat you. Yet, it is necessary if you want to find the life and its marvels.


At first, you will probably not do it for you but not to hurt even more those who suffer from his departure. Then, one day, you will smile when you wake up, at the end of a sweet dream. I felt guilty when it happened to me but the survival lasts only one time, the life takes again little by little but not if you isolate yourself. Sharing allows you to take a step back, if only for a friendly hand on your shoulder.


If you feel a little peace these days, you will understand that I am not the only one here to pray for you, to want to take you in his arms to console you. I will send you a ton of Light of love to alleviate your sorrow ...


I hope that one day, this experience will become a great strength in you, is useful for someone else. In these moments, as for me now, you will feel that this terrible death can bring life to others. One second at a time is enough for now, do not ask yourself more. There is only time and love that will make you see the end of the tunnel, + your faith if you have it. I carry you in my heart with gentleness, compassion and love. I can attest, life still has wonderful moments. Do not let go!

  • Isaacarchitect
    3 months ago
    Isaacarchitect

    I'm very sorry for your loss Orionaute! Hugs from all of us!<3

  • Vanessa Aubrey
    4 months ago
    Vanessa Aubrey

    Right now i feel soo lucky that nobody my family has committed suicide! Love and hugs to all of you. <3 =^.^=

  • JarkaK
    6 months ago
    JarkaK

    <3 <3 

  • Orionaute
    6 months ago
    Orionaute

    ♥ Suzanne. JarkaK, you are too kind, thank you for sharing with us! The most we talk about that taboo, the most we can feel that we are not alone in that shadow/light road. Love and hugs ♥

  • JarkaK
    6 months ago
    JarkaK

    Orionaute, my father committed suicide 13 years ago and I remember that the worst day in my life and I never forget. And I never forget those feelings. And I know really what about your talk. I´m sending you a lot of love and power to your process of healing <3

  • ZsuzsannaCs
    6 months ago
    ZsuzsannaCs

    <3

  • Orionaute
    6 months ago
    Orionaute

    ♥♥♥

  • Mum Dali
    6 months ago
    Mum Dali

    Your words, Orionaute,  captured my heart like nothing does for a long long time. It is the first time, that i hear about your lost of your sister... hope you can feel my deep compassion, hugs to you. 


    And that you sent  these great and powerful words to Jade, is a great gift to her and the entire World, that needs to heel from all the suffering we are going through... 


    And yes, we are all on our way to paradise, through day and night, one day  we will all get there,  one day .... 


    Hope you can feel my big Hug, Dali 

  • Conchy
    6 months ago
    Conchy
    Orionaute, thanks for being such a "healing person" :)
  • deleted_1577050553_Jade Autumn
    6 months ago
    deleted_1577050553_Jade Autumn

    Thank you, Orianaute.  I have a wonderful older man - a psychologist of 40 years - whom I see, who is walking me through this.  He has told me the grieving process takes many different forms and has no set time limit, and that I lost Alex in such a traumatic manner is going to test me time and again.


    I have thrown myself into walking my neighborhood and collecting and customizing model horses.  I also write, stories that maybe no one will ever see but it is a means to let go of some of what I'm feeling.  And then there are the rooms I've done, most of which probably reflect my mood at the time of designing.  All of these things keep my mind occupied, keep me focused and moving forward.  I will be okay.


    Gentle hugs to you.



  • Orionaute
    6 months ago
    Orionaute

    Thank Suzanna, Conchy: I can feel some peace.

    Jade, I put some words for you on the story up here...

  • deleted_1577050553_Jade Autumn
    6 months ago
    deleted_1577050553_Jade Autumn

    My fiance took his life this August.  There was no warning, no indications that anything was wrong.  I don't know how I'm still here, to be honest.  He was my entire world, Orianaute.  I see you, and I hear you.

  • Conchy
    6 months ago
    Conchy
    Wish you feel my warm hug, my soft breath supporting you, my shy cloth drying your tears, my sincere love ....Peace my friend<3
  • ZsuzsannaCs
    6 months ago
    ZsuzsannaCs

    Sorry my designer friend.. hug and love..  <3

  • Orionaute
    6 months ago
    Orionaute

    I apologize my friends but this year again I need to pay tribute to my sister. The crying is still intense but the revolt diminishes.


    Love remains, as faithful as the hope of finding ourselves in the Light one day ...


    I'll put it back in private soon, thank you.

  • Theadora
    over 1y ago
    Theadora

    and don't forget to eat...

  • Theadora
    over 1y ago
    Theadora

    Give Kira a hug for me ... If you would rather talk let me know - I have use of the phone the whole day tomorrow and the weekend,  so any time is good...take care my dear. 

  • Orionaute
    over 1y ago
    Orionaute

    Many many thanks my friend. I know you are with me, it means a lot, and more... I will e-mail you tonight or tomorrow, when tears stop - now I look like a fall but Kira help me. Love, hugs

  • Theadora
    over 1y ago
    Theadora

    My heart aches for you my friend. I hope you will find out where she is laid to rest so you can have some peace. Thinking of you - lots of love and hugs.

  • Orionaute
    over 1y ago
    Orionaute

    Sorry Tree Nut, I will made it private at 00.00 h - it is the first year I try to help myself talking of her suicide. It means a lot, just for today. Thanks.

  • Tree Nut
    over 1y ago
    Tree Nut

    How incredibly painful for you and your family, hugs <3

  • Orionaute
    over 1y ago
    Orionaute

    Ginette, my sister

    2 years you are gone

    Without a word

    Without an adieu


    I still do not know

    Where are your body

    Despite our research

    Your family is crying to you


    How to mourn

    How to let you go

    Without anchor

    Common to our hearts


    It will take a day

    Create a bridge to you

    Create a cairn

    Who will unite us


    Hoping for a day

    Link your song to ours

    To forgive you, to cry

    Do not say adieu


    But goodbye ...

    I love you